Monday, August 29, 2016

She Leaves Before Autumn in Silence

Image source: http://www.wallpaperup.com

She Leaves Before Autumn in Silence

When she leaves
the sun follows
the moonlight tides hollow
the twilight slides,
shallower
riding narrow straights
lined in yellow-golds, 
crimsons; the valley bleeds
listen as pinwheeling leaves
spiraling wingspread
reddened and bled where
trails dovetailed and led
to her wistfully drizzling
brisk-whispered
goodbyes.
** *

Written for dVerse Quadrille #15, where Justin Jackson is hosting and asks participants to write a 44-word poem that includes the word “leaves”. This is a bit of a rush job. I might come back and tweak it a bit. 


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12 comments:

  1. Beautiful use of assonance at the beginning, with those 'oh' sounds, together with colour and vibrant verbs. I agree, Barry, a stunner!

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  2. Beautifully written, with nice sounds, colour and rhythm.

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  3. Oh, my.
    "brisk-whispered
    goodbyes" is just stunning,
    and the image that is conjured by this:
    "the valley bleeds."

    Incredible use of language here. Just wonderful.

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  4. This sings for me, just amazing poetry Barry.. makes me think of Dylan's "One more cup of coffee (the valley below)"..

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  5. "brisk whispered good-byes" has such gravity to it, Barry! It stays with me!

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  6. This is absolutely stunning a write !!!

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  7. A UniVerse oF
    Life Leaves..
    faLL oF
    Death..
    LIFe precious
    noW.. so.. unique..
    multi-UniVerse
    eYeS iN every
    SeNtienT BEinG..:)

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  8. I love one-sentence poems; and also like how pictorial this is.

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  9. A gorgeous write...the flow, the sound, the heartbreak.

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  10. A gorgeous write. I love the imagery in this - wistfully drizzling brisk-whispered goodbyes - stunning poem.

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  11. Breathtaking....every line of it.

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