Friday, March 11, 2016

Closing Ranks

Closing Ranks

Doubts & outbursts
betrayed my need
to make you hurt
as badly as
you wounded me
with his scent
still on your kiss.

1.
You looked me in the eyes and lied
Not just me, but to your pride inside
I made myself into your dreams
Played myself despite our schemes
To use our lust until the luster died
Abuse our trust that filled the flustered tide
I caught feelings where tide pools remain
Your smile reflected thoughts of same refrain

Where is your loyalty now?
We were to share a vow
You's just a jezebel
Fuck him like royalty now
Feedin’ me lies you tell
You barely hide it now
You fuckin jezebel
Fuck him like royalty now

Where is your crown prince now?
Claim it was sabotage
Claim you can't keep a man
Frame it in camouflage
Zodiac frames your plan
Do all Leos creep and how?
You barely hide it now
I'll get you back somehow

Where is your loyalty now?
I gave you all I could see
Gave you all I could stand
Let you see inside of me
Gave you me on demand
And you gave me your hand
But you never meant to be
More than just a fantasy

My heart is splintered where you defaced me
But I reentered when you embraced me
My pulse is centered where you displace me
Your heart is tempered when you replace me

You looked me in the eyes and lied
Not to me, but to your pride inside
Made myself into your dreams
Played myself despite our schemes
To use our lust until the luster dried
Abuse our trust just as I blustered pride
I caught feelings where tide pools remain
Your smile reflected thoughts of same refrain

Where is your loyalty now?
We were to share a vow
You's just a jezebel
Fuck him like royalty now
Feedin me lies you tell
You barely hide it now
You fuckin jezebel
I'll get you back somehow

Where is your crown prince now?

Doubts & outbursts resonated
in the cavity of your absence
and the echoes of your goodbye

2.
I understand you had a plan excluding me
You made a world where I would twirl for you to see
And I hopped to, skipped to your Lou, exploited me
And I would have loved you still
And I would have loved you still
And I would have loved you still
If only you'd let me

You told me before
Commitment was not your thing
I chose to ignore
So when I began to sing
Of what was in store
You laughed and told me to bring
The only song you adored
And the feeling of my sting

You showered me with praise
As you basked in my affection
Your naked frame appraised
And directed my erection
You knew how to play the game
And I wanted you all the same
And I would have loved you still
But you wanted just the flame

And you would enjoy the ocean
But deny yourself the depths
While you contemplate the motion
I reply with what is left
Of my sanity to reprimand
And demand to stand, hand in hand
In the eyes of God and all who see
With a kiss you walk away from me

I understand you had a plan excluding me
You made a world where I would twirl for you to see
And I hopped to, skipped to your Lou, exploited me
And I would have loved you still
And I would have loved you still
And I would have loved you still
If only you'd let me

I feinted & angled
through your
doubts & outbursts
leading you to trust
in my forgiveness
baring your breast
to my vengeance.

3.
And so I got a fifth of vodka and I got a bag of weed
Now I am fully stocked and I got just what you need
It's damn near one o'clock; time to feed our carnal greed
You slide open the lock, I enter you at full-speed

See I got poor self-esteem so I become just what you want
When you want, how you want, and how hard you wanna flaunt
Knew I was your plaything, when you laughed at my ring
But when I answered your ring I planned to fill your wellspring

You must feel something more, when I part you, you'll remember
Within depths of your heart, which you guard like a Templar
It's the fraction of a fraction; deeper than satisfaction
Penetrate your depths, you'll reach for me; a reflex action
I get deeper in the cut till your back arches to meet me
See me as the pressing missing piece, pressing to greet me
See I had poor self-esteem so I became just what you flaunt
A sex savant, dick nonchalant, fucking your want

I can tap into that spark that holds the tongue back from the truth
Spilling secrets in the dark, your dirty one; you find uncouth
That you could love me as I once loved a liar; you
And I once loved you as you knew the sky is blue
I'll pierce you where you like it until you begin to ignite it
Make your sinews shudder 'til you're ready to recite it
And then just when you invite it and can no longer fight it
I'll bid you goodnight and leave you before morning light
Can touch my closing ranks.




11 comments:

  1. I like the refrains, the brutal honesty and potency of the subject's narrative. Definitely different from your past work. I really dig it.

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  2. I like the refrains, the brutal honesty and potency of the subject's narrative. Definitely different from your past work. I really dig it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Admiring the passion and strong undercurrents of love and hate in your verses ~

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  4. This is so marvelous, the pain and lust... so easy to feel used, to wonder and to feel left out.. This is truly a wonderful piece of writing (and I always love hearing your voice at dVerse)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I've been hamstrung by depression, but I'm finally feeling the creative bug again. Hopefully just in time for NaPoWriMo?

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  5. The first feels like song lyrics. The second more poetic. The third is good but needs some tightening to be as powerful as the first two. I am impressed with the flow of your words, the power of your vocabulary, and the insistence and speed of your delivery. You definitely have talent and you showed it in all three.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the critique! You have a good eye. I was inspired by music from one of my favorite rappers, Kendrick Lamar.

      And you're right about the third being weaker in comparison to the other two. I just ran out of steam towards the end, and it was too late to rollback to a two-parter. :)

      I might come back and try to rework it a bit. Some of the rhymes are a smidgen on the corny side.

      Thanks for reading!

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  6. Geesh, that was a wild ride... (not diminishing the incredible art value)
    ZQ

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  7. ALL n ALL
    make me feel
    very fortunate
    that i married someone
    totally different as i too
    could
    have ended
    up with this..
    easy..
    if not
    winning
    the wheel
    of fortune wife..:)

    ReplyDelete