Saturday, April 26, 2014

Hey Ruth


“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death.” - Elie Wiesel, writer, professor at Boston University, political activist, Nobel Laureate, Holocaust survivor


Hey Ruth


Hey Ruth,

I’m callin’ you with the truth,

I hope you’ll hear it

cause I struggle hate it

and fear it

I need someone

to help me bear it,

I tried to talk to our pastor

but he shut me down faster than

Jesus out in the desert with Satan,

and now I’m deserted and waitin’ on

family like you to turn on your lovin’,

I’m burnin’ within

the shadow of your coldness

and please pardon my boldness

but now I’m all alone,

you’re the last number on my phone

before I throw it away

and just blow it all away,


How can you claim to love God

but turn your back to the part

of him within my heart? At the start,

you knew my struggles, but

now huddled near you

and you depart? We have

questions and some temptations,

my self-doubt and dim reservations

now founded in your dismissal,

I wish you found compassion

you could issue to this dying man,

you are my family, you oughta’

embrace me, but your denying plans

to sit and deny me your water,

can’t even face me.


I’m a cast-out,

but not the devil,

and your cash-out

hurts on a cancer level,

I can’t bear it alone,

so you’re the last number

on my phone

before throwing it away

and just throwing it all away

and knowing you’ll all just say

that I’m a lost soul

even though you could’ve

found me if you listened,

so now just listen

to what will be my final mission,

I got a bottle full of pain-killers,

and a pain-killing handgun,

I never planned one of these things,

but I won’t accept the pain

that your silence brings,

this was my last call

before silence falls on me,

so please just love me as I fall.



NaPoWriMo Day 26 – dVerse Poets - OpenLinkNight – April 2014 – I know the subject-matter is extremely dark. I came across a facebook support group called Jehovah’s Witnesses Suicide Memorial (I’m not religious, so why Facebook suggested this group to me is a mystery to all but Jehovah and the Gods of Aggregated Data.)

I began reading the group’s page and there were stories upon stories of young people killing themselves over the stigma of being excommunicated from the only lives they ever knew for violating whatever code they’re forced to live by. I won’t judge the religion, or religion as a whole, but my heart breaks for these individuals who felt they had nowhere to turn to for support. So I sat down, and this fell out of my head and spilled onto my keyboard.

Please help them if you can. If you’re thinking about taking your own life, please talk to someone. From the main page of

“No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.”


  1. Bold writing, bolder message that needs to be listened to ~ I detest religious beliefs that imposes & pretends to the "Truth" ~ I am sorry for those young people, driven to take their own lives ~

  2. Wow... There is so much passion here. This poem shines best as spoken word, when I read it out loud, the intensity amplified. Love love love the title.

  3. you ask beautifully who is my brother, and indifference must lie somewhere on the plane of sins.

  4. Read Viktor Frankl's
    "Man's Search for Meaning" It's a book that changes lives.

    It was recommended to me by a blogger poet friend and I cannot imagine this book being recommended to me by any person I know personally...thus one of the great benefits of blogging...meeting people you would not normally in your everyday life.

    Your poem is powerful and interesting so much so... that I could write an entire essay in response to it. This surely attests to a successful piece.

    Unfortunately unlike your wife I do not have a husband who will obey me in all things or anything in fact ..sigh) like doing houselhold chores so I may have to return later when time allows:)


    1. Thanks for the book suggestion. I bought and downloaded it to my Kindle last night.

      Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm flattered that you're compelled to comment more.

      (The obey thing is a bit of a stretch though. I have many sporting interests, including NBA basketball. Keeping Wifey happy just ensures that I get to watch ALL the games!) ;)

  5. i wish we would listen more to each other and really try to understand what the people around us want to say... indifference kills... it's true - and we all should try to make a difference

  6. So much to agree on... suicide is such a final decision.. scary to have such a page proposed by cannot cease to wonder.

  7. This is a solid write from a first person point of view that gives us that emptiness and sense of desperation. What interests me more than that is how you "hear/write" your rhythms. Is this just a natural beat in your head? (it sounds so organic) yet there is no regular meter - the beats fall at no particular places in the lines and yet the entire piece has a pulse. I admire that and would that I could manage that natural, unique to myself way of writing. I liked it very much.

    1. Thank you so much. Reading the stories from that Facebook page had such a powerful impact on me that I felt compelled to get to the heart of the matter quickly. While I love learning and trying classic and new poetic forms, I didn't want the message I was trying to convey to be restricted by structure this time.

      Whenever this happens to me, I resort to my Hip-Hop influences, which is itself heavily influenced by Jazz riffs. (Example of a good one below.)

      In a good Hip-Hop song, the lyrical cadence is similar to an improvising snare drum riding a pulsing base beat. I don't have musical training, but as a kid, I use to freestyle battle-rhyme quite a bit. "Riding the beat" is just something that comes naturally to me when my passions are ignited. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks again. :)

  8. There is a lot we don't see as adults that goes under the radar so to everywhere are subjected to so much pressure these days it boggles my mind. How sad is it that anyone takes his own life but for kids to even think about it for any reason is wrong...anyone who advocates or reinforces it is evil..good on you for writing about this in your way!

  9. This poem is deeply moving. And the meter that underpins it, animates the speaker and makes the poem very human. How we need to slow down and take time to truly listen to one another. There must be so many souls going through this pain!

  10. beautiful. i'm speechless.