Tuesday, March 04, 2014

The Beginning

The Beginning
 
it probably should have ended here at the beginning
for in the beginning, not a single word was scribbled
for the mistress of my gravity
 
for whom my sun did rise
my earth revolved,
and my words lacked the potency to move
 
she was too fine for poetry; words just got in the way
internalized, felt deeply, and
barely spoken, my words became
as blindly, silently devoted to this woman
as they were dangerously untrue to the author
 
they became her instrument
coiling themselves around her essence,
willing to morph into whatever shape she desired
entertaining her, making her laugh on demand
 
they skipped to her Lou and spoke of
such buffoonery and insipid things
that it made me wince in embarrassment
to hear them fall from my own mouth
 
but I was her fool and I didn’t care who knew
and everyone knew this better than I
especially when she grew bored, and left,
leaving behind me and my self-mockery
 
in her absence
the words lost their cohesion
fracturing, shattering at the atomic level
 
the resulting implosion bowed my head
as I sank to my knees, sifting through the rubble
searching for some semblance,
some hint of meaning to the self-inflicted misery
 
all I could piece together were the words
“Now we’re ready to begin.”
***
 
Over at dVerse, the prompt is to write a poem inspired by your own personal evolution as a poet (something that helped shape you into the poet you are today). I can’t begin to describe how difficult this was for me, as most of my “poetic evolution” involved trying to impress some woman I was chasing.


Seriously, 5th grade? love notes to some girl. 7th grade? Love note/rap song to some girl. 9th grade? love note to some girl. 12th grade? My 1st actual poem/love note to some girl.
Ultimately, I settled on an event from adulthood about 13 years ago. I’m not too thrilled with what I came up with, but it’s late and I’m sleepy, so the hell with it. Guess they can’t all be winners.


Goodnight everybody!


(Oh yeah, go here to read other poet’s more coherent efforts at this prompt!)

5 comments:

  1. Chasing a girl, or looking for love and acceptance to fill and pad your heart? It's all in the framing, isn't it? :))

    I think this is a splendid outing, a misty look down memory lane.

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  2. ha. i think you did fine...sometimes it is those big events that rock us enough that we start to put pen to paper just to get the feelings out before they eat us alive or burn us up...ha and love make us look like a fool as well...

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  3. echoing Brian... I think you did fine, too :)... when I was about 16, I used to read my poetry to my lady-friends, they didn't like it too much... ha

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  4. Looking like a fool is part of love's journey. The searching through the rubble was very visual. Great piece.

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  5. what a tough start... but at least it was a start... and i think it's quite brave as well... it's cool though when we just write because we wanna write and not to impress someone... very cool

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