Deep Cleansing Breath

Deep Cleansing Breath

Shh…

Embrace the calm.

Be the tranquil sunset

over still waters.

With the inhale,

become one

with the zest of sea air.

With the exhale

ignore

the pop-up ad in th…

What is this?

What is

Busty Asian Yodeling.com?

No! Don’t click it!

Welcome to Busty Asian Yodeling

For when you need your

hot yodeling action

with huge Asian,

double-barreled,

Dixie Dynamitious,

Bang-Bangs

For a small monthy fee

you can access

all the steamy yodeling

you could ever desire

until your poor ears

are all chaffed and raw

Are you sure

you want to navigate away

from Busty Asian Yodeling?

It’s OK.

We’ll be here

with new free samples next week.

Now take a cleansing breath

and use your mind’s eye

to relocate your center.

Align your soul

to the rhythm of your heart;

this pulse is the foundation

of all that exists

and has

absolutely

nothing to do with

Ghetto-Booty Grandmas.ca…

Oh crap.

Please

For the love of God

Don’t click that link to Ghetto-

Goodness,

where do you find time to find this stuff?

Honestly,

I never see you with a book anymore.

Tired of using your brain?

It’s OK;

at Ghetto-Booty Grandmas

We’re here to stimulate,

Other things

You really want to close this window?

We got fresh new,

old ladies

With prominent derrieres

doing

what Ghetto-Bootied Grandmas do

We just need a credit card number and-

Now please.

We’re supposed to be finding ourselves

Now stop giggling

And just focus the mind’s eye on the heavens.

With a deep cleansing breath

Project yourself beyond the clouds

Above the rare air

Just past the moon

Then Venus…

I said Venus,

not the other word you were thinking.

Stop giggling.

Focus.

Now… deep, cleansing breath…

Passing Mercury,

Feel the heat of the Sun

It is intensifying as we approach

It is our destination

To penetrate its core,

collapsing it

and it’s known satellites

into our essence

until the reality becomes clear

that all is one and…

You’re uhm…

googling

Tina Fey’s so-called video

on Celebrity Sex-Bowling.com again,

Aren’t you…

We’ve been over this

Tina Fey is far too classy

to leak a sex-bowling video

on that site.

What? Get out.

That’s not her.

And that’s not

Christina Hendricks either;

it’s a spoof.

I don’t believe you.

Fine! Let’s prove it

Here’s my credit card…